"Hi from the UK.
I'm not one for showing emotions but I've been really stressed lately and I thought I'd try your idea of writing it all in a blog to try and get it all off of my chest.
So here it goes:
My son is autistic.
I am jealous, jealous of the man in the park kicking a ball with his son. The father and son out on a bike ride or building a fort to play Cowboys and Indians.
I'm selfish. Why can't 'I' teach him this. 'I' want to show him that.
I'm annoyed, annoyed at all of the negative attitudes, at the barriers to progress, the lack of support from government.
I regard myself as a mans' man. I go into burning buildings for a living, I ride a Harley Davidson, I've jumped out of a plane and got into a boxing ring in front of hundreds of people without a second thought. Yet my son can put a tearful glaze on my eyes with the smallest achievement.
I understand that I am looking at the negatives, I need to look at the positives. Look at all the things he can do.
My son is happy. He is happy watching the same cartoon over and over with no interaction from anyone else. He is happy playing on his own. He doesn't see or hear any children laughing at him. It doesn't effect him. He doesn't think he is missing out on anything. He is not jealous of other children his age.
If it costs two hours of my time on the laptop every night to make visual timetables. If it costs money every week buying the same toy from the supermarket when we have ten identical ones already. If instructions have to be repeated over and over. Then so what.
My son is autistic and as long as HE is happy, then I am happy.
Autism is a roller coaster ride. Not one child on the spectrum is the same and every parents' experience is different.
Love your child for who they are, not what they can or can't do.
Want to share your story? All you have to do is email us at firstname.lastname@example.org Each week we will feature a new face and story at www.bikersforautism.com/blog/faces-for-autism
Thanks to our project leader Mercede Campbell
Check her out at www.mercederain.com